• When someone walks slower than me:omfg your slow ass is clogging up the hallway for the rest of us put some pep in your step grandma
  • When someone walks faster than me:jesus christ are you on the run from the police this isn't a race you can tone it down usain bolt
  • When someone walks at the same pace as me:who gave your creepy ass permission to walk with me get the fuck away before I call the cops

What do you call your one dollar bills? Mine are affectionately called stripper money.